The other day, my six-year-old son piped up from the backseat, "Why do all the songs have to be about God?" I explained that we were listening to the Christian radio station and that's what they play. He seemed satisfied with the answer, but I was not. His innocent question has needled me ever since.
On Sunday, the pastor preached on holiness, which actually means to be set apart. He mentioned that we often segment our lives, that we are different people at church than we are at work, that we are different people with our friends than we are with our family, and so on. What is holy and what is whole?
I don't want to be set apart, exactly. I want to be one person, one God-loving person who is also living in this world, participating in the joys, sorrows, ups, and downs that God has laid out for me. I want to be fully present and whole, the same to my church friends as I am to the public, a person who loves God, but also loves food, sex, alcohol, laughter, dancing, singing, and great big bear hugs. I don't want to denounce the flesh he's wrapped me in, to pretend I'm someone I'm not, or that my thoughts are always pure. They're not. But He knows that anyway. I want to be the same person to the world that I am when I'm alone with God.
It's a scary and vulnerable thought, but there it is.
And I wish I lived in a world where there was no such thing as "secular" but that God was part of the mainstream, day-to-day existence of every one of us, not set apart in a corner by himself, but a dominant thread woven into the air that we breathe. Because when we break ourselves into different segments and only show pieces of the whole, it's bound to catch up with us. We're bound to hate one part (or more) because we all have sins that we struggle with. There's a reason we hate the "holier than thou" stance. We can't be good enough, and God knows that. But the greatest disservice we can do, the greatest dishonor we can bring, is to show up on Sunday and pretend to be whole when we're not, when we're only giving Him a sliver of ourselves. Lukewarm worship is no worship at all.
I don't want there to be a "Christian" radio station. I just want there to be music. I don't want there to be "Christian" books. I just want there to be books. Not all of the songs or stories have to be about God, but some of them do. Because God matters, as does all the rest of it.
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I agree...I think that is one of the jewels that come from aging. The desire to be yourself wherever you are. How can you really connect with someone else if you're not able to be honest? However, honesty can be painful because many others still hide behind their various shells and don't know how to deal with the honesty. I agree..."lukewarm worship is no worship at all." Love you Kyndi!
ReplyDeleteThis is a beautiful post. Genuine winsdom in your words, even though I am of a different belief than you.
ReplyDeleteBravo. I roll that very same thought through my head each and every day. Thank you for Sharing it so eloquently.
ReplyDeleteThis post really resonates with me. I'm a Christian, but all that you talk about here--especially about being whole and present to this world--factors into why I don't write "inspirational" fiction but instead write about real lives with all their mess and the many ways that redemption can come to us.
ReplyDeleteI remember how my relationships changed for the better when I was able to release myself from thinking that the purpose of my interactions was to find an opening for a gospel pitch. I'm not ashamed of letting the world around me touch me now.
Thank you all for your comments. It means a lot to me to connect with you! *hug*
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