Monday, January 31, 2011

Saying Goodbye

My grandma passed away today. I didn't know her well, though I wanted to. We lived on opposite ends of the country while I was growing up. I have a handful of memories of our meetings throughout the years.

The last couple of years, I'd tried to engage her in some biography questions via email. I learned a bit, but it didn't really work out. And now she's gone.

I wish she had written her biography, had left some more of herself behind for me to know, for my children to know, for future generations to know. I enjoy genealogy and am sometimes called the 'family historian' because others don't seem to share my interest. I have names and dates for ancestors back to the 12th century in some cases, but that's all they are: names and dates. The breath of life that was their essense is long forgotten. And I long to know them, to understand their world, their hopes and dreams, their fears, failures and greatest joys. If they'd written biographies, perhaps I would.

When I ask my living grandparents about their lives, they don't think what they have to say is anything special. They tell me they can't remember anything interesting. It's like pulling teeth to get anything from them. The stories will be lost. And that breaks my heart.

I do have one biography written by my great-great-great-grandfather Daniel Heiner and I count it among my dearest treasures. What a gift he left me, a priceless wonder to this descendant he'd never know. I pray you do the same for yours.

God speed, Grandma. I will see you again someday!

8 comments:

  1. I'm sorry for your loss. I have been thinking about this a lot lately, since one of my grandmothers is not doing well (she's 92). I wish I could know more about my ancestors, but almost no one in my extended family has kept any records. I once saw a book that had a single line of my family running back to the 1400's in Germany, but I can't figure out where that book has gone. It's terrible to be interested in knowing more about your family but to not even be able to go back even three generations.

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  2. I'm so sorry for your loss too.

    I think it's great that you are trying to record your family's history, though.

    *hugs*

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  3. @Cherie- thanks for your kind words.

    @Ted- Have you ever tried ancestry.com? I have a subscription to the site and have been astounded how much info is out there. It mostly does the work for you. As more people load their info (stories, pictures, etc), the more that interested parties have access to it.

    I plan to scan and load my ancestor's biography, since he has many descendants who probably have never seen it. Thanks for your sympathy. I hope you are able to learn more about your family history.

    Cyndi

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  4. I am so sorry about your losing your grandmother. She looked amazing in that picture. Perhaps if you share this blog with your living grandparents, they will realize how important their stories are. I wished I had written down the tales my dad shared with me, but I was too young to realize how valuable his words were. Big hugs to you, Cyndi

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  5. I am sorry to hear about your Grandma. You have my condolences. When I first retired, I began writing an autobiography about the first sixty years of my life. When I finished it 3 years later, I printed and hardbound 7 copies and gave five copies to my close relatives and friends. I was always sorry that I didn't know much history about my parents and grandparents, so that is why I wrote it.

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  6. @andrea- thanks for your sweet words.

    @Dallas- What a treasure! I am glad that you wrote your story and I am sure future generations will be as well.

    Cyndi

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  7. I am so sorry for your loss. My grandparents live in England and I live in the US...It was hard when my Nanny died for some of the same reasons you are struggeling with...the lack of connection and the wish for more of a connection. I bought an angel and a rosary to represent Nanny nad have them in the livingroom. It helps me. Sometimes I just touch the angle or the rosary and I feel her love. The distance then or now doesn't take away from the love that will always be there.

    (hug)

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  8. @Sharon- Thanks for your comment. I'm sorry about your Nanny and I am glad you found a way to stay close. *hugs back*

    Cyndi

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